The Salty Dog of the Isle of Islay

Downstairs at the Dirty Spank, Millard "Salty Dog" Cleveland, the legendary blues virtuoso who taught Johnny Scuffles to play guitar, will be playing all week.  Ironically enough, during the same week, the gods of the uisge beatha water of life have blessed Bacchus at Babel with the Salty Dog of Scotch Whisky: a limited edition, 3^rd release bottling 1979 Port Ellen, aged for 24 years to perfection.  While it remains to be seen who shall reign as “Peat Rex” (we have a strong inclination that Laphroaig will be crowned), we have unilaterally identified Port Ellen the Salty Dog of the Hebrides Archipelago. 

Do not be fooled by the gentle balance of the initial nose: you will soon be transported to the scattered shipwrecks which pepper the coastlines of Argyll and throughout the Inner and Outer Hebrides Archipelago, the southernmost of which is Islay, known as Banrìgh nan Eilean, or “The Queen of the Hebrides.”  As this deceptively smooth whisky sucks you into her tide, you will feel it open with the brine, the peat, and the iodine of a treasure chest covered in barnacles and seaweed and the charred planks from which it marooned.  As you break off the barnacles, push aside those charred planks, and remove the nest of seaweed, that treasure chest will open up and reveal its golden booty.  Thank you, gods of whisky.

Port Ellen distillery was first established in the 1820s, during the last days of Lord Byron, John Keats, and Percy Bysshe Shelley.   The Distillers Company Limited acquired the distillery in 1925 around the same time it merged with John Walker & Son and Buchanan-Dewar.  Diageo currently owns Port Ellen and the distillery closed in 1983, though Diageo continues to operate Port Ellen Maltings and supplies most of the island’s operating distilleries with malt.  Nonetheless, the sealed warehouses remain and the stock casks are cult treasures available in limited edition release bottles.  We have heard tales of brawls over such limited bottles during the annual Islay Whisky Festival.  But…who wouldn’t scrap for a taste of the Salty Dog of the Inner Hebrides?